The Official Felix And The Half Krauts Site

History Lesson!

Felix and the Half Krauts started in the fall of 2003. Spike and Chris were looking for some people to join up in a band. Spike's idea was "The Scabs." Felix joined up as guitarist, the Scabs were dropped quick. Some kid tried out on bass, but he was visibly bored, so we gave him the boot but kept his amp to practice!

Matt from Tampa played bass with us and we decided to stick with him. We still didn't have a name though. A certain cripple by the name of Gimpachu suggested "Felix and the Krauts," to which Felix said "They are only Half Kraut, if even that!" And thus FATHK were born.

We set up our first show as a Fully Automatic Records benefit house show and Spike + Chris' appartment. It turned out great. Unfortunately the two got booted out of the place soon after. Fuck Landlords!

The distance between Tampa and Fort Myers was a big strain on the band, and in the Spring of '04 Matt decided to leave. We played with our friend Curtis for a while, but he stopped showing up to practice. Oh, and Shows. Hah! Then Summer '04 we gave Jeff a try, and not only is he a good guy and can play the bass, but he also shows up on time (which Matt did too, in all fairness).

We have recorded one 4 song demo with Matt on a laptop (you can tell...), and are working on a new 8 song demo at the moment (this time with Jeff's 8-track), so stay tuned!

Bios!

FATHK TRADING CARDS

CHRIS:
Vocals

Stats for Chris
HP: 150

Degree of Krautness: 50%

Weapons: Microphone, Spit.

Special Moves: Flaps Arms Like Wings, Kick +1.

Short Description: Watch out for this one. Chris' favorite weapon is the microphone which he wields in deadly fits of rage. Don't be afraid of the arm-flap move, it just looks cool but doesn't affect your HP. If confronted by Chris in an open area, just run away - chances are he will trip over his falling pants.

FATHK TRADING CARDS

Jeff:
Bass/Backup Vocals

Stats for Jeff
HP: 140

Degree of Krautness: 50%

Weapons: Bass with too many stickers, Quart of Mickey's.

Special Moves: Confusion Stare, Double Swig.

Short Description: Due to his Linclon beard Jeff gains an Armor bonus of +2. He will use his bass without remorse, occasionally switching to his Quart of Mickey's for extra health. He has a 14% chance of double swig, which will increase his HP by 230%.

FATHK TRADING CARDS

SPIKE:
Drums/Backup Vocals

Stats for Spike
HP: 165

Degree of Krautness: 15%

Weapons: Drum Set, Drumsticks +2.

Special Moves: Change Of Beat, Blind Fury (enhanced), Head Butt.

Short Description: To avoid confrontation with Spike, buy him a beer. Should you not have enough money, or be out of reach of any beer supplies, beware of his Blind Rage (enhanced)! If used with the Drumsticks +2 critical hits receive a +56% bonus which can easily render a foe unconscious!

FATHK TRADING CARDS

FELIX:
Guitar/Vocals

Stats for Felix
HP: 142

Degree of Krautness: 100%

Weapons: Iceman (special item), Kick +1.

Special Moves: Confusion Sway, Constipation Face, German Accent, AC/DC Riffs.

Short Description: Felix will try to confuse you with a combination of all of his Special Moves. His 100% Krautness Degree allows him a 50% bonus on beer drinking abilities, as well as the skill to pronounce "Jägermeister" correctly. Watch out for his Iceman; it is a special item which possesses magical abilities. In the hand of a trained Felix it can be more devastating than President Bush's foreign policy.